There is one moment that every mother fears, that point in time when something happens that causes her and she realizes that she is not indispensable to her family. I had that moment recently, and it wasn’t pretty. While recovering from surgery I was forced to watch my family survive without me for a couple of weeks. Meals, homework, housekeeping, bathtime and braids….all successfully completed without my control help. How did that happen? That’s not how things are supposed to go when I am laid up? The house is supposed to fall into shambles while hubby and children aimlessly wander through the weekly schedule marvelling at how Mommy can do THIS every week with such polish and pizazz. Did they miss the memo?
More than the discomfort of physical healing was the damage to my ego when I realized that my family could not only accomplish all the daily tasks that I usually take care of, but they would need to take care of me also. I had to learn to be dependent; which included help with my personal needs, meals to be made and brought to me and I had to let others do my chores their way, not mine. That’s not easy when you are used to being the Queen of your castle.
On the other hand, it was nice to stay in my pyjamas and snuggle in bed watching movies with my little ones. I got some unprecedented time to read a few novels for several hours straight (an absolute blessing!) Plus, after spending all day staring at the bedroom walls, it was such a delight to see the kids after school, especially when I didn’t have to be the one to make them pick up their toys. I also got to take a break from my role as dishwasher, laundress, taxi driver, cook and shopper for a couple of weeks. So I guess it wasn’t such a bad trade after all…temporarily of course!
November 9, 2011
Lola
2 responses to “(In)dispensable?”
Linsey
November 14th, 2011 at 13:01
I read your blogs not in the order they were published so I read the Home one first and then this one. I can understand the feeling of being dispensible but as your later blog shows moms are never dispensible even when we, as adults, can make a home apart from our parents and take care of our chores and wake up on time to go to work in the morning. The role of a mother is not easy as it is to get their children to a place of independence. However, there is something undefinable that our moms give us which we always need.
I’m glad you got a chance to relax and recover as well as to see that you are fulfilling your role so well!
Charlene Patterson
November 12th, 2011 at 05:10
It’s really quite strange how when you were recovering it appeared as though your family was able to keep up with the everyday routine of your household. Believe me, they all pulled together to show you how much you’re loved. The children wanted to make you proud of them. To show you that all the things you taught them over the years were valuable to helping in your recovery. YOU are invaluable and they all know that things run better when you do what you do best……………….being their mom and a wife. I’m sure they were counting down the days when you were back in the fold. You are the glue that holds it all together around there. Glad you’re well and you have a family who loves you as much as you love them!!